WHY YOU NEED TO GO OUT OFTEN

I must admit that I was socially retarded (a cruel yet realistic description) and unaware of how social dynamics works. Being social is more about knowing what not to do rather than trying to befriend everyone. I'm going to describe here a few tips on how to improve your social life and how to start conversations with people. However, to start socializing you must stop any form of addiction, problems or low self-esteem that bothers you and that mess with your social life. The first and the most simple tip is to just spot some activities that don´t contribute to your overall growth as a person. For example, masturbating, watching porn, watching too many movies, surfing the web without learning important stuff, watching click bait videos on youtube, getting too caught up in others people´s opinions and life, not doing anything, taking naps without being tired, waking up late, chatting too much without any specific reason and the list can go on forever, but you get the message I´m sure. 

First, quit those awful habits, and start going out more. I can give you a simple tip which is setting up a time every day if possible to have conversations with people, let them be your co-workers, your friends, and pretty much anyone who is willing to start a conversation. Please understand that if you are social and intelligent you are at a much greater advantage than most guys who are just intelligent. I´m sure you are intelligent because I can relate to that. Many intelligent people are socially unaware as we tend to focus on just learning new things and exploring the world on our own. But, realistically talking if you want to succeed in life AT LEAST you MUST have certain basic social skills. Like any skill in the world, it can be learned, though it gets harder as you age but still it´s possible. 

I always like to give tips that you can actually follow without complicating your life as many books and programs that make you elaborate a plan and write what your problems are vs what you are good at and many more things like that. Those things really don´t work and they don´t stick in your head in the long run. Plus you won´t probably do them in the first place. So I`ve gathered a list of helpful tips that you can start implementing in your life. As always any significant change in your life MUST START WITH BABY STEPS. Please don´t try to jump and pretend to be the most social guy in the world. Just be cool and relax. 

So, without further ado, I introduce you to the 10 most important tips (for me) to help you improve your social life. 

TIP No 1. Always try to greet people everywhere you go with a sincere smile. Learn to love people. Treat them with respect and with a warm attitude. Don´t worry if someone just reacts and looks bad at you. Understand that people have problems. They may be involved in bad situations or he could have just lost his job or ended up his relationship. Just don´t take anything personally. 

TIP No 2. At first, you won´t have the skills necessary to get into a deeper conversation with someone so I challenge you to just start making small talks. Ask people how their day is, what they are up to, be interested in others people life. Be willing to explore people as they are and you will be amazed to find out that meeting new people is like reading a new book, always intriguing and interesting. Also, understand that there are people who may be in a hurry or may be sad or angry for any reason that does not involve you, or they may be busy doing something. Try to spot how they feel and only start conversations with people that appear to be open and happy. Do not assume that just because someone is sad or looks angry he or she is not a social person. It may even be his or her natural facial expressions. But you as a beginner must start making friends with people who are very sociable and easygoing. 

TIP No 3. Never ever and I can go on and repeat this forever NEVER EVER EVER EVER CRITICIZE PEOPLE THAT YOU HAVE JUST MET. Don´t judge them, don´t make fun of them, respect their decisions and support them. People hated when others point out their flaws because most people don´t know how to carefully and most importantly, softly tell others what they are doing wrong. Believe that just by not judging others and never criticizing them you will be at a greater advantage as most people are used to hearing critics.

TIP No 4. TRY TO ALWAYS GIVE SINCERE COMPLIMENTS TO PEOPLE. This is based on the 3rd tip because as I told you people don´t like to hear critics but they love to hear sincere and honest compliments. I´m sure that you must have noticed something that someone has that is unique and amazing to you. He or she may be very skilled and something or the clothes that he or she is wearing are very stylish. Maybe the new haircut of your co-worker really fits him really well. Maybe that new guy in the gym is starting to lose weight and gain some muscles. Maybe that secretary or cashier looks amazingly good or has a beautiful smile. Just tell people what you consider amazing about them. Do not hesitate to compliment them. It´s easier to criticize and judge but you must know that the power of making others feel good is UNMEASURABLE. It´s hands down the quickest way to make new friends really fast. I GUARANTEE IT. Do not think that they are going to feel nervous or uncomfortable if it is a compliment that comes from your heart and it is genuine they will ALWAYS BE WELCOMED.

TIP No 5. BE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLES LIVES. I mean literally, there isn´t a single human being who doesn´t like to talk about himself, their goals, activities, his life. So a good technique is to just ask questions about what the other person is doing, what his hobbies are, what places have he been to and many more things. However, do this because you really want to know him not just as a trick to befriend him and take advantage of him. There are millions of phony people always pretending to be your friends, holding back ulterior motives. Plus, REMEMBER SOMETHING: YOU DO NOT NEED TO BEFRIEND EVERYONE, JUST HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE FRIENDLY, INTERESTING AND WITH WHOM YOU FEEL GREAT BEING WITH.

TIP No 6. Don´t hang out with people that make you feel inferior or that treat you as a low-class human being. As I once heard select the best friends that you can, people that have certain traits that you may want to incorporate into your life. Personally, I like to hang out with 5 friends who posses traits that I lack or I have not fully developed yet. These traits are : 

• Being sociable (hang out with a popular guy that has many friends)
• Being good with women (hang out with guys that have a lot of women after them)
• Being an entrepreneur (hang out with people that like to make money, start businesses and being financially independent)
• Being physically fit and healthy (hang out with guys that like to take care of their bodies, that love to go to the gym or do any sports activity)
• Being intelligent and knowledgeable (Always have one friend that is very smart and knows a lot about different things, personally, I like to hang out with engineers because I´m one myself, probably you are a lawyer or a doctor then hang out with a successful lawyer or doctor. If you are a student hang out with guys that really love their career and that are involved in many activities regarding it)

So you must have a wide variety of friends that possess traits that you want to incorporate into your life. If you find someone that posses most of the traits listed above then BECOME HIS OR HER BEST FRIEND. You always have to hang out with people that are superior to you in one or more aspect and you must have something that they lack so both can help each other. Also, remember that friendship is more about giving than taking. 

TIP No 7.








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